Rabbi Singer
BS"D
I feel incredibly blessed to have known Rabbi and Rebbetzin Singer for almost 30 yrs. I moved to Passaic as a new baalas teshuva in 1996 and my first interaction was with the Rebbetzin who was assisting me in finding a suitable rental apartment.
Soon after I settled in they invite me for Shabbos and then my good friend Carin Gordon (now Chava Maslin) invited me along to a women's shiur that Rabbi Singer was giving in his garage!
Fast forward a bit and I was zoche to attend another special women's shiur Rabbi Singer was giving at The Gruens home and he always spoke to the women was such kavod and made us feel so important and that our learning was so valued.
Fast forward again a few years after getting married my husband chose to daven regularly at PTI and developed a beautiful kesher with Rabbi Singer himself. When we were blessed with the birth of our first child, our son Avinoam, Rabbi Singer had the honor of krias ha shem and I'll never forget how much love and excitement in his voice at that moment, as if he was our father not our Rabbi.
We were blessed to celebrate Avinoam's bar mitzvah in PTI as well and the absolute joy and nachas that Rabbi Singer expressed to us, the grandparents and extended family was overflowing. Again, making us feel like we were all family, not rabbi and congregants.
These are only a few of the many memories we have of our family and Rabbi Singer but we wanted to share them in hopes they will bring nachas to the extended Singer mishpacha who may read this and may his holy neshoma continue to rise higher and higher from all the mitzvos all of us continue to do in his memory.
Yehi Zichro Baruch.
How we met Rabbi Singer, zt’l
About forty years ago we were living in West Orange. The rabbi of our shul helped Rafael find a chavrusa for learning Gemara at the Rabbinical College of America in Morristown which was nearby. After several months Rafael’s chavrusa outgrew this yeshiva and transferred to Lubavitch’s main yeshiva at ‘770’. Nobody else there had the time or skills as excellent as this particular bachur so for a while Rafael had no chavrusa. A short time later we received a mailing from Ohr Someach (then in Monsey) saying that if one needed a chavrusa or shiur in the North Jersey/Rockland County area they could arrange it. Rafael contacted them and a few months later Rabbi Singer called and spoke to Rafael. Rabbi Singer introduced himself as Cantor Shlomo Singer from Passaic. He described the learning as a small group of men that met every Tuesday night in his basement (his garage was still a garage!). He described the method of learning as emphasizing what was the Gemara saying, asking and answering, using the commentaries to determine this. Rafael said he was willing to attend and ‘try it out’. And he hasn’t stopped going!
Rebbe and Mentor
Throughout the years Rabbi Singer zt”l provided valuable and insightful advice on how to deal with life’s many uncertainties. This was particularly helpful when raising our children. His advice was always on target and many times delivered in an upbeat or humorous way. As one example when our children entered shidduchim we asked him how to present to shadchanim and references inquiring about our children the fact that we (Sheila and Rafael) are baalei teshuva. He answered there was no need to mention this! Why even bring it up? Rather if asked about our background we should reply that we grew up in very traditional homes (which was the case).
Torah is the Real Refuah
When we were living in West Orange we befriended a gentlemen who was a divorced man with custody of his young son. He lived with his parents in Verona and made the 2-3 mile trek to shul every Shabbos morning. He occasionally spent Shabbos with us. After a while he began to go with Rafael to Rabbi Singer’s shiurim which he greatly liked. He confided in us that the divorce affected both him and his son emotionally and they were both seeing mental health
professionals. However this man confided to Rafael that this didn’t seem to be that beneficial. Further he stopped attending the shiurim. Rafael asked Rabbi Singer for some advice on this. The Rosh Yeshiva’s reply was: “Of course his son and him should receive professional help but the ultimate refuah is limud haTorah”. Rafael then suggested to this man that going back to the learning might help him to ‘relax’ and take his mind off his problems for at least some of the time. Indeed in a few weeks he told Rafael that the therapy for his son and him was now helping. Several months later he remarried (and then moved to a city in the Midwest).
Who Are the Real Rabbis?
On one Shabbos many years back Rabbi Singer and Rafael were walking to St Mary’s Hospital to visit one of Rabbi Singer’s talmidim. Rafael mentioned to the Rosh Yeshiva that it was outside of visiting hours for ‘regular’ people whereas for Rabbi Singer this was not an issue since he was ‘clergy’. Rabbi Singer replied with great emotion: “If Reform and Conservative ‘rabbis’ who perhaps learn a few daf Gemara in their lifetimes can call themselves rabbis; you who learns Gemara consistently and in depth can rightfully be considered a rabbi!”
One Day We’ll Have Our Own Place
When we moved to Passaic Rabbi Singer insisted we join and daven at the Adas Israel. When Rafael would walk there on Shabbos morning he would invariably meet up with Rabbi Singer. While walking to shul the Rosh Yeshiva would frequently share his vision of having his own building to house a yeshiva offering high level learning for Jews of all backgrounds.
Rabbi Singer: “It Will Work Out”
When we moved to Passaic Sheila was very concerned that she would have to go to work and leave our children in the care of others. In West Orange we received more help from the schools because it was a more affluent community. Rabbi Singer assured her that everything would work out ok and he was right. We took in a boarder connected to Rabbi Singer and Sheila was able to find good childcare when she started working.
Shidduchim Advice
When our children started shidduchim Rebbitzen Singer gave Sheila excellent advice. She told her a key thing to look for is that the person is excited about doing mitzvahs.
To Whom I know,
There are countless stories about my interactions with the Tzaddik. R.Shlomo Zalman ben David Yehuda, Ha Kohen Zecher Tzaddik L'Vracha. But given the season, see attached.
You can only imagine the love we shared lighting and I was in awe of the Kohien. And the Rav would teach us that "kedushah is preparation!" Learning eruv tavshilin now so that applies...but it is universal k'nira li. HaChana. Preparation. And Alex gave a great shiur today on the Tosafot and Rabbeinu Tam poking the eye of Rashi (pardon my French, which Rashi is like, "What?")
Which pleads learning! And Rashi, I hope I am in your Yeshiva L'malah.
One time Rabbi Singer was teaching two talmidim at a table before a chuppah, and a boy came up behind the Rav and was eying the cookies on the table. Without skipping a beat Rav SInger handed the cookie the child wanted to him, while never stopping the limud with the students. What impressed me witnessing this is I dont know how he saw the child because he was completely behind the Rav and he also intuitively knew exactly what the small boy wanted and could appreciate a childs wanting to have a cookie even while giving a shiur. Note also Rabbi Singer gave shiurim to talmidim while waiting for a chupa to start.
It has being many years since I have interacted with Rabbi Singer but I will always be thankful for the opportunity he gave me to study and to become part of his yeshiva, he opened the door to me and that opportunity he gave me to study and learn Torah and Talmud served me as a blessing in life. It is really sad that he has passed away but his memory and his teaching will always be in my heart.
Divrei Zichronos at YBH for 6-8 grade boys.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rdw4uo3VsV9zzTbIsBRBgN92WqQRP-lk/view?usp=drivesdk
A short background. I learned with Rabbi Singer for 7 years. He was my mesader Keddushin (and my brothers as well). The last time we spoke was a year ago.
The first story is about my friend. This story took place back in the 90's when Rabbi Singer was giving shiur either in his house or in the shiur room in the Yeshiva Gedola. He was persistent and always trying to encourage people to learn. Some came eagerly and regularly, sometimes it took a lot of effort and encouragement. One of the latter was a friend of mine. He came once or twice and after that Rabbi Singer encouraged him and prodded. He reminded my to talk to him and encourage him. But it did not seem to be working. At one point I wondered it my influence was having any effect and I asked Rabbi Singer "should I keep asking him?" I don't think I will ever forget his response, delivered with complete conviction (devarim hayotze min halev) "YOU NEVER GIVE UP ON A JEW" Wow that is a klal that has stuck with me and has been a guide for me many, many times.
I think back to one of the first interactions I had with Rabbi Singer. When I first moved to Passaic, I was considering becoming a wedding singer and Chazzan, but was hesitant about my abilities and didn't have much encouragement from family or friends in that regard. When I spoke to Rabbi Singer, he was so effusive in his praise, stating that "the world needs more Chazzanim" and that I should "let Hashem hear my voice. He then advised me to find a vocal instructor knowledgeable in both music theory and sensitive to Jewish values, who would be supportive of my goals in a healthy and Torah-oriented way. I owe it to Rabbi Singer that I eventually started posting videos of my singing to Facebook and YouTube, and that I produced my first single to much praise and encouragement earlier this year.
I also think to the first Purim seuda that I spent with Rav Bodenheim and family, and how R' Singer engaged me in conversation for close to 2 hours of his precious time, sharing with me Torah thoughts and encouraging me to better myself and pursue further study. Then, when I was fairly emotional, he showed me warmth and sensitivity, listening to my concerns and advising me accordingly. To top it all off, it was pouring that night, so he asked someone to give me a ride home so as to avoid the downpour.
Hashem has reclaimed His servant, and the world has lost a Gadol who excelled in Bein Adam LiMakom and LiChaveiro. Pirkei Avis tells us that Hashem is happy with those who everyone likes, and I have no doubt that R' Singer is reading his reward in the Yeshiva Shel Maalah alongside the other Torah greats. Baruch Dayan HaEmes.
How does one incorporate a lifetime of memories in one email? Will do my best...
Passaic-Clifton was a different community back in the 70s-80s. We had a communal day school, Hillel Academy, today known as YBH. (Yeshiva K'tana hadn't arrived on scene just yet.) We were a small community that consisted of families with different religious backgrounds. NCSY was a popular presence and we kids were very involved in our local chapter. Back then Rabbi Singer was known to us all as "Cantor" Singer as he was the chazzan for Adas Israel. He would reach out to each of us, inviting us to his home for shabbos meals, zmiros, and my personal favorite...Pirkei Avos with chips and soda. Before there was PTI, before the garage had been converted, there was the Beis Midrash in his basement. His rebbetzin ,Ita a"h, made sure we had snacks while he spent time learning with us.
Rabbi Singer soon started his "yeshiva" at his dining room table with several Ba'al Habatim...one of whom was my father, a"h. My father didn't come from a religious background...in his day Passaic public school was followed by cheder. So, learning gemara would be a challenge for him. Rabbi Singer took him under his wing and it continued for years. My father would become an expert on Sukkah...lol. As the community grew through years, so did the small yeshiva that started at a table. First it was located in their converted garage and eventually in a house (coincidentally owned by a deceased relative of mine) which is the present location.
Fast forward to the 90s and you can imagine how pleased Rabbi Singer was when he learned that my now-husband was a talmid at Ner Yisroel. You would've thought he won the lottery. Such simcha...the contagious kind.
When we moved back to Clifton from Baltimore, I was thrilled to learn that Rabbi Singer was teaching a shiur at the Herzfeld's nearby. Each word, each concept that he spoke exuded enthusiasm. It brought me back to those days of chips and soda.
The passing of Rabbi Singer, to me, represents the end of an era. L'Havdil, he was our Mr. Rogers.
May his neshama have an aliyah and may he be a melitz yoshor for klal yisroel...
Several years ago, the Mashgiach HaRav Matisyahu Solomon זצ״ל spoke at PTI's Yarchei Kallah. That same day HaRav Yisroel Belsky זצ״ל spoke at another Yarchei Kallah in Passaic. While the Mashgiach gave the drosha, R' Belsky walked in and the Mashgiach abruptly stopped and animatedly announced "B'chavod HaRav Belsky!"
It occurred to me that here, in what may appear to the outsider observer as a modest beis medrash, two Gedolei HaDor were present in PTI to give kavod to R' Singer.
The following is written similarly in the acknowledgements of the sefer "Bochen Hadrachim - The Discerning Mind". Unfortunately I dont know if Rabbi Singer ever got to see it. I have modified it slightly for the current purpose.
Rav Shlomo Singer: The first time I remember meeting you was in tears very late at night. You gave me true words of guidance and taught me that Hashem loves me, no matter what... and that I can love Him too! Since then, I saw in you the most positive and charismatic person I have yet to meet. Rav Singer's derech is to ignore anything that some may conceive as bad in another; "There is only neshamah. Hashem loves you, now get into Torah!" You were a man who did not accept negativity, and this has stuck with me over the years. Thank you. Hashem has blessed you with a long and full life, and many students who you have assisted with becoming familiar with Hashem and His Torah. You are still making the world a better place!
The two middos that I will always remember Rabbi Singer ztz"l for are Simchas haChaim and Ahavas Yisroel. Simchas haChaim - nobody had as much enthusiasm over everything like Rabbi Singer. There was nothing mundane about anything he did. Nobody had as much energy to dance on Simchas Torah, or to say a bracha under the chuppah, or even just to greet you. I lived pretty far away from Rabbi Singer's house but I would occasionally make the trek on a Shabbos afternoon to his 'garage' for some Torah. I remember one time I answered a question that Rav Singer posed. From then on, he greeted me like I was the gadol ha-dor. Now let me say right here, that I didn't become a baal teshuva until I was 26 years old. My learning skills were very limited. But he told me that I had such a good head on my shoulders and that I should be in yeshiva and I could be giving classes eventually. When the yeshiva opened on Passaic Avenue, I started attending one of the night sedarim. Rabbi Singer always made a point of walking over to where I was learning and telling my chevrusa or the rosh chabura how smart I was. Except for maybe my parents, he was my biggest advocate. What a wonderful person. At first, I wasn't sure how genuine it was. Maybe he's just kidding around with me; trying to pump me up to get me to make donations to the yeshiva. But he never asked me for a dime. And his excitement and his compliments were continuous over many, many years. There was never a time when he saw me that he didn't greet me the same way. Never! Even the last time I saw him, he was standing in the middle of the circle on Simchas Torah, and when he saw me he told me he couldn't believe he never got me to give a shiur at PTI.
I have heard it said by many people that Rabbi Singer's Ahavas Yisroel was so great because he loved every Jew regardless of where they were holding in their Yiddishkeit. I can't really speak to that but I can speak about the depth of his love for each Jew. He remembered everyone's name and their situation in life. He not only wanted every Jew in yeshiva, he wanted to know how he could motivate each Jew to have him want to be in yeshiva. Was it an encouraging word? Was it a kick in the pants? Maybe some food would help? Rabbi Singer was willing to do anything to get you into the yeshiva and then to get you to thrive in your learning once you were there.
I never had the privilege of meeting Reb Aharon or Reb Moshe, but I can only imagine how great they must have been if their talmid was Rabbi Singer ztz"l
I met Rabbi Singer at the ADASIsrael when he was hired there as a Cantor and I Davened there. This was around the late 1960's, about 55 years ago. He enjoyed learning and was looking for a Chavrusah so I started learning with him then in his dining room, As time passed more people got involved and we then learnt in the basement and as more came to learn we moved to the garage. He also felt that learning Torah was very important and installed that in all of us. Once the group got large he felt we needed a building and even though no funds he would also say don't worry, Hashem has the funds to help us.
He was very much interested in having people learn and get Yiddishkeit so he worked hard with young people and started the NCSY group in Passaic and attracted a number of young people and turned them on. When the shul population got to0 small for hebrew schools we then combined the Hebrew schools of Passaic, Rutherford and Nutley and he was the principal and I the President and here again he worked hard to have young people appreciate learning and a number of those students went to Yeshiva and also later on went to Israel to learn. He was always very welcoming and wanted to help people grow in Torah and did not care how much you knew he just help you learn and grow. Ita his wife was also very helpful in supporting him and in the early days we did not have the kosher stores that we have now so she would bring in kosher cheese and we would buy it from her.
As PTI grew he was able to see the growth and expand the Torah learning which he always felt was so important no matter what your background was and would support you to learn.
It was October 31, 2011 and the launching of the bais yaakov for ladies class with Rebbetsin Goldie Cohen. The class was given at Alison Sages house in the middle of a blackout. Not a light was to be seen on ridge ave except for the emergency generator coming from Alison Sages living room. Thirty ladies showed up to learn that night, in the dark. Rabbi Singer Z”tl gave opening remarks and said the the women of Passaic were going to light up Klal Yisrael. Ten minutes into Rebbetsin Cohens class… the lights came back on!!
In the year 2007, Rabbi Singer זצ״ל began to institute a Shabbos morning minyan and was looking for a בעל קורא. I started laining there, but I was only a participant in the minyan, not the learning sessions.
One day, Rabbi Singer called me to persuade me to join the shiurim. Before this, I was learning Daf Yomi, but Rabbi Singer’s shiurim were at a slower pace and more thorough. This helped me excel further in learning, as well as developing a חשק for learning.